A Second Chance At Chasing Dreams
Maybe this time I'll actually get to use my autograph
Basketball was my favorite sport. I loved the way Kobe Bryant dribbled up and down the court. I loved it so much that I told everyone I met I was going to play in the NBA. I even went so far as to practice my autograph in preparation for becoming famous.
In a birthday card to my uncle, I left a note and signed it with my perfected autograph. He inquired about its elaborate nature. I responded, matter-of-factly, that I was going to be an NBA player. He let out a laugh, from deep down in his belly. I didn’t understand what was funny, so he got serious with me.
“Maybe this autograph will come in handy when you become a doctor. But you ain’t going to the NBA.”
I had been rebuffed for having this dream before. But never had I been laughed at because of it. For a pre-adolescent boy, it was hard on my confidence. It put a damper on the only real dream I had for the future. Knowing my uncle now, he said this to me out of love. Playing basketball professionally is nearly impossible. At 5’7”, the likelihood is infinitesimal. He foresaw my dream never coming true, and wanted to help me avoid wasting my time.
He was right—there was no chance my short ass was making it to the NBA. But, revisiting this experience made me wish that he had encouraged me to chase my dream. I imagine it going something like this:
“Harrison, take a seat next to me. I want to talk to you about your dream.”
“Okay, sure.”
He says, “the chances of you accomplishing that are very, very small. But, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try anyways. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, dedication, and study. If you really want it, you need to stop practicing your autograph and start practicing your jump shot.” With a look deeper than his guttural laugh, he reaches my soul.
It wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but it would have changed my mindset. Knowing I had that level of belief standing behind me, no matter what endeavor I decided on—that could have changed the trajectory of my life.
Upon realizing this, I was first saddened. But then, I realized I could give myself this same advice. In fact, I had already been subconsciously giving myself this advice for the last few years.
Twenty four months ago, I’d never once entertained the thought of stand-up comedy. Three months later, I performed a 3-minute set in front of 100 friends and strangers. Just eight months ago, I had never written a line of fiction. I have now written over 60 pages of my first novel. Based on my appetite and aptitude for writing, I’ve made it a goal to become a full-time writer.
I’ve told several people about this goal. And, akin to my uncle’s advice, many people have tried to dissuade me:
“No one makes money from writing.”
“AI is going to replace every writer on this earth.”
“How are you going to stay out of the bar?”
“Writing is a very lonely endeavor. Are you sure you can handle that?”
Instead of letting their doubts creep in, I sit myself down, and look deeply into my own eyes. I say:
“The chances of you accomplishing this are very, very small. But, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try anyways. It’s going to take a lot of solitude, hard work, and resolve. If you really want it, you should stop practicing your golf swing and start writing.”
By taking what I wish I had when I was 10 years old and giving it to myself at 30, I’ve been able to give myself a second chance to chase my dreams. This time around, I’ve got a greater sense of resolve, a better understanding of myself, and a dream that doesn’t care how tall I am. And, just in case, I’ve still got a killer autograph.
I am grateful for to Charlie Becker for the opportunity to be featured on one of my favorite publications, Castles in the Sky. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. If you’re looking to make your own Subtle Shifts, subscribe to my Substack.